Something sometimes magical happens when people sit in the backseat of a car. On occasion a you'll have that one rider that ceases to forget some common courtesies or have any sense of shame!
I’ve become very aware of this phenomenon I like to call “back seat don’t care” in my 2 years of driving for a popular rideshare company (not to be named) one random morning my second client had requested a ride because his car had broken down. He was “late for the most important meeting ever” and asked me to “floor it.”
I felt like I was in a bad 90’s sitcom. I honestly considered driving faster than usual, but then I saw his work badge – it was a well known potato chip manufacturer.
“Nah, I’m not risking a ticket because you need to get to a meeting and approve the new pepperoni pizza and ranch flavored chip”, I thought to myself. “Actually…that sounds delicious”, I thought again!
I had just pulled out of his driveway and he starts his daily morning routine that he apparently skipped during his frantic rush. I heard that familiar click, click, click and then felt a tiny sharp pinch. I looked back and this dude is clipping his fingernails. In the back of my car!
That was, hopefully, the only time I’ll have to use the phrase, “Sir, please stop clipping your nails in my car.” The glance he shot me said, “Wow. Can’t believe you have the audacity.” Which was the same exact glance I had.
It was an audacity-off. He mumbled a disinterred “whatever” and I thought this Twilight Zone ride was over when not 5 minutes later, I hear this ssshhhzzzzz.
Fearing the worst, I looked at my rear view mirror and he’s got an electric shaver on full blast! The razor that he’s slowly guiding down his jaw line. I can’t believe it HE’S FRICKIN’ SHAVING! I was actually impressed. I was speechless.
I couldn’t look away. He caught me staring and had the nerve to say, “Hey, man. Pay attention to the road.” Between two people in a car – one driving and one full on shaving his face – I was the one being unsafe.
Sometimes you should recognize life’s weird ironic moments and let a guy clip his fingernails and shave in the back of your car. I live by that philosophy to this day.
R. B.
Texas